If this horror-porn had been made with a shred of competence it would be too disturbing to watch. Fortunately for our sanity, and entertainment, craftsmanship is as foreign to this flick as decency and good taste.

A masked rapist-murderer wielding a machete--the same machete used to edit the film, presumably--roams the woods and preys upon a vacationing family, forcing them into a number of obscene acts including incest (mother-son and brother-sister for you perverts keeping score). It's as vile as…

You'd think that a VHS guide to surviving an earthquake hosted by Shelley Duvall, co-written by OG scream queen Brinke Stevens, and directed by the creator of the sodo-centric CAUGHT FROM BEHIND porn series would have at least a little kitsch value, but it's my sad duty to inform you that it does not. Aside from some gnarly disaster stock footage used to open the video, this hour-long exercise in preparedness is a string of dry, sometimes rambling, lectures.

Duvall,…