Andrew Lambert Patron

All bangers, all the time.

Favorite films

  • The Exorcist
  • Don't Look Now
  • Suspiria
  • The Wicker Man

All
  • Midsommar

    ★★★★

  • Beau Is Afraid

    ★★★★

  • Dangerous Animals

    ★★½

  • The Phoenician Scheme

    ★★

More
Dangerous Animals

2025

★★½ Watched

Shout out to all my fellow finatics!

Shark season is officially open for business.

We were so back for a second there too before hitting choppy waters on a rough home stretch.

Not quite the catch that was promised but I had my fun and that's all that matters.

A tasty bite to snack on before some bigger splashes later this summer if the tides are with us.

Happy hunting, chums.

The Phoenician Scheme

2025

★★ 1

Unfortunately insufferable.

Points for presentation of course but little else to ire here, as Wes painfully overplays the signature quirks which compliment his best work, while neglecting the heart and soul that makes those classics shine.

This cold and empty shadow is Anderson on autopilot, following all of his worst instincts in a sort of bizarre self-kareoke that ultimately amounts to the most precocious, pretentious and downright intolerable project of his career.

More
Hot Frosty

2024

7

That man's cancer diagnosis was written in comic sans.

The Substance

2024

★★★★½ Watched

Holy fucking shit.

A film I can still feel in the pit of my stomach.

I'm currently processing what I've just seen, but I can say without a shadow of a doubt that was something I've never experienced before in a cinema screen and I almost hope I never will again.

Coralie Fargeat has birthed an excruciatingly visceral and spectacularly grotesque monster.

The Substance is a demented and depraved work of mad genius that resurrects then recontextualizes body horror in…

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