“Who’s Black Sabbath?”
“Get the fuck off my property.”

I really appreciate the era of slashers we’re living through right now. Does Thanksgiving reinvent the wheel? No, but it’s a blast from start to finish and is what you want from a slasher. The John Carver mask and getup kicks ass, the kills are mean and bloody, and it gives another fun holiday slasher. Bonus points for the trampoline kill, the dumpster cutting a lady in half, and using the Misfits in the credits.

Also, if this isn’t a yearly watch at your Friendsgiving from now on, you’ve fucked up.

“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary.”

Really fucking good. I usually stick to movies but this had me hooked from episode 1. It does such a great job pulling you into these characters and their fucked up worlds while also giving you scary moments. They’re mostly awful people but you get so invested in them so easily. The consequences are done out so well. Flanagan does a great job adapting Poe with modern takes on the classics. I think I’m gonna check out Midnight Mass next.

“Isn’t this how ‘Jaws’ started?”

“I ain’t got nothing but regrets, Bill.”

Beautiful yet tragic from start to finish. The pacing was so good that I never felt like I was watching such a long movie. Unreal performances from everyone but Lily Gladstone was easily the standout. Hard to put how incredible she was into words.

“The Carmichael manor. Where to begin?”

Got a little baked, lit a nice fall candle (shoutout Evil Queen), turned off the lights, and sat down to have myself a nice scary time. It’s windy outside, too, so the Halloween decorations are clashing and bumping. All that combined made the perfect ambience for this creepy ass banger. It slots behind the original for me but I had a real good time with it. Something about clowns and a big haunted mansion just does it for me. If we get more in this series I hope it’s more of this and less of the other two sequels.

“Your friends…are they…”
“Ghost?”
“Yeah”
 “of course, how else could they make the robots move”

I never played the games so this was all unfamiliar to me, but I gotta say I did not see “little sister befriends killer animatronics” coming. Not really a movie for me but I hope it does well in theaters.

“The song says so. If you are afraid of falling into a hole, it will put a hole under you.”

A real fun one to kick off the weekend. The cinematography fucks. So many good shots throughout the film. Audibly yelled “holy shit” when the goat scene happened. “It’s unexpected, gruesome, tense, and such a well done horror scene”, I thought to myself. Then the fucking dog scene happened and I almost fell back in my chair. My god, pure chaos. The effects look great, too. It has a pretty dark ending but I dug it.

“It’s Halloween. You know what that means. Old Sawtooth Jack is gonna rise from the cornfields and try to make its way to the church before midnight.”

Sawtooth Jack’s design and the gore are the highlights here. The creature is really fucking creepy and cool looking with some mean and gruesome kills to go with it. I’m not going to act like the story is great or that a lot of the characters have depth, but for a Halloween night movie I’m not really looking for that. I’m looking for something entertaining and bloody with a sick killer or creature; Dark Harvest delivers on all three.

“Where’s the other girl?”
“They’re taking care of her at home.”
“That’s not a good idea.”

Yikes! The first act was fine. I thought it did a decent job of setting up what was going to happen with the girls, but everything after that was truly bad. Once we got the actual exorcism I had some hope but it was such a letdown. There was nothing scary about it at all and even the twist was meh. I wasn’t even expecting a masterpiece! Give me a solid horror movie with good scares and imagery and I’m a happy camper, yet we couldn’t even get that.

“The heart is my blood, my gift, my welcome!”

Total Copy, No Wake/Ambrosia, and Dreamkill were fun in their own ways. Cant say the same for God of Death and TKNOGD, though. Both were kind of boring to me and I found myself struggling to pay attention a few times through both of them.

“Men showing emotion. Fascinating.”

Don’t you love it when a movie feels like it was made for you specifically? Because that’s what Totally Killer felt like. We’ve got 80s music (big fan), we’ve got a masked killer (big fan), we’ve got good jokes (big fan), we’ve got an abandoned amusement park (HUGE fan), and we’ve got some heartwarming moments mixed in with cool kills (you guessed it, big fan). Hopefully we keep getting movies like this because I can’t get enough of ‘em.

“Have a good life, John. A good, long life.”

What a blast! Fun traps, fun twists, fun mid-credit scene, fun stuff all around. I will always see a new Saw movie but it’s even better when it’s a good one. Cant wait to see what comes next.