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big step down from Talk to Me, but the effects and cinematography are great!

just not particularly scary tbh.

holy fuck.

i could write a novel about everything i loved in this movie — but Michael B. Jordan quite simply *is* that guy.

HE. IS. THAT. GUY. 

this was so riveting that it made me power through an unrelenting and severe lack of attention span caused by untreated ADHD.

dats television babeyyyyy!

probably my final film of 2024 and i chose to stress myself tf out 😩

This review may contain spoilers.

i mean…that’s gotta be one of the most iconic opening scenes in a minute, right?

This review may contain spoilers.

“i’m gonna pee! i don’t want to pee 🥺😳”

i’m gonna be real: i shouldn’t even review this because i am not a fan of ~erotic~ films in the slightest — especially when it’s heterosexual. 

however, seeing it in a theater full of people who were not afraid to laugh at the more absurd moments (the fucking hotel dance scene, the drinking milk out of a saucer scene, the getting fingered and groaning scenes) made it…tolerable.

Robert Thee Eggers is one of the greatest things to happen to modern horror, and we are lucky to witness such a visionary director’s work in real time. 

Everyone crushes it here.

listen…at this point ridley scott is a hack and the only real enjoyment of his material comes from the efforts of everyone else involved.

this sorta falls apart in the third act, but ohhhh buddy, Hugh Grant is absolutely fantastic here. zero complaints about any of the acting, really. 

i just wish this didn’t turn into…something kind of stupid 🥴

the action is really fun and everything but i truly believe that this movie would be nowhere *near* what it is without that joaquin phoenix performance.

it’s also hilariously historically inaccurate, but i’m not boring enough to pretend that ruins the whole thing.

saoirse ronan’s filmography has been incredibly meh for like four years now and it’s getting a bit upsetting ☹️ fire your agent, ma’am!

while i am still deeply over trauma/ptsd as a metaphor in horror, i enjoyed this much more than the first one. coulda done without the ridiculously obvious Voss product placement, though. 

(i did get hugely jumpscared for the first time in FOREVER while watching this, so i gotta give it extra points for that lmao)

as subtle as a sledgehammer to the nose, but fuck me if it isn’t incredibly fun to watch. 

this is the first thing i’ve managed to watch since The Hellection of 2024 and…i needed this, honestly.

this is great. it’s not often you find several child actors that can really sell it, but i thought they were all fantastic. 

it does go on a bit too long, in my opinion, but still an awesome watch.

every single time i watch a Haunted House Found Footage Movie™, i hope it’s gonna be decent. watchable, even.

and then it ISN’T. 

a perfectly fine (albeit narratively ridiculous) entry into this series.

me, for the first two minutes of this movie: what is this, Drive (2011) ?!?!??!!??

This review may contain spoilers.

i liked this! i think some of the timeline fuckery doesn’t always add up, and the ending gets a little ridiculous, but overall it was enjoyable. 

if you liked the german netflix series Dark, you’ll probably be into this.

listen. is this an Oscar-worthy movie? no. is it even necessarily an Oscar-worthy performance from Saoirse Ronan? debatable. 

but i need her to win that stupid ass naked golden man, or i might never know peace.

okay, listen…do i respect todd phillips for telling joker fanboys to go fuck themselves? a little bit. 

but apart from that, this movie is some of the longest two hours i’ve ever experienced. i get what todd was trying to do here, i really do. but a musical? and a half-assed one at that?

i appreciate having the cojones to destroy everything that the incredibly offputting fanbase of the first movie holds dear — but in order for them to actually hear what you’re trying to say, you need to hold the audience’s attention. 

if people have to white-knuckle it just to stay awake, you’re not going to get through to anybody. 

funny premise — thoroughly bungled execution.

i am so tired of aggressively fine movies 🥴

i cannot believe i just watched an entire nepo-commercial for M. Night Shyamalan’s daughter, but holy shit did this suck.

one star is for josh hartnett.

This review may contain spoilers.

Starve Acre has entered the “tiddy-feeding a horrid beast” cinematic universe!

this is more than a horror movie. it’s a horror movie with a heaping helping of historical education!

Exhuma digs into some bits of history between korea and japan, and while i am no expert on korean/japanese international relations — the pain of the past is evident here.

gotta be the most bored i’ve been during an action-packed mindfuck, which seems impossible. 

i liked it! but i’m also exhausted.

This review may contain spoilers.

i refuse to rate this higher because the gender politics are absolute garbage and i do not appreciate the “weaponized lying about sexual assault” shit in the slightest. 

however, when it’s not politically shitty, it’s unfortunately very fun to watch and gorgeous to look at.

whomst is selling xenomorph chrome grillz, and where do i get their number?

play one more country song, i fuckin’ dare you.

i’ve been a fan of these guys for a few years, and all i really have to say is…becoming likely Oscar nominees is parful.

uhhhh, this is a revolutionary movie about motherhood, social pressures that women face, and self (re)discovery!

HORROR MOVIES CAN HAVE SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL TO SAY. I LOVE THIS SHIT SO MUCH!!!

Maxxxine is better than X and i’ll gladly die on that hill, but it’s still thoroughly meh, completely predictable, and a disappointing end to the trilogy. 

also, mia goth and elizabeth debicki do all of the heavy lifting here.

“ouuuughhhhh lemme check and see what percentage i match with the person i’m dating!” okay, and…? am i really supposed to believe it would fuck with society that much?? maybe i’m just a heartless/naïve weirdo, but there is absolutely nothing interesting about the premise of this movie.

jessie buckley, riz ahmed, and jeremy allen white are characteristically great, but that can’t save this absolute nothingburger.

i love the cinematography, i love the vibe, i love the performances, i love the nic cage ridiculousness, i only wish the writing was better. 

it’s pretty good — i just expected a little more from this.

respectfully, i loathed every moment of this and the music was terrible. start an actual black metal band or fuck off.

This review may contain spoilers.

pretty decent!

i enjoyed the more suspenseful and supernatural parts, but the baddie was entirely predictable and went a bit too far into John Kramer territory. 

also the final shot was hilarious, but i have no idea if it was supposed to be 🥴

holding on to the memories of seeing these guys in a ~1,000 capacity venue for dear life.  

i’m glad they can put on the show they’ve always been destined to now, but i will never be able to afford to have fun at a ghost show again lmao.

This review may contain spoilers.

this has it’s moments, but overall the whole thing suffers from Too Much Clownitis.

they're not scary! please stop.

This review may contain spoilers.

it kicks off with a bang (😏) and barely lets up. 

very solid!

i can’t believe this is actually decent?

i am once again begging for somebody, anybody, to start throwing awards at jodie comer’s head.

she’s a sco and she did a goofy midwestern accent without slipping up ONCE!!! COME ON, MAN!!!!!!!

this movie as a whole is a little overhyped, but mia goth really is great.

boring, apocalyptically cringe dialogue, killer dude looks like a giant fucked up baby, zero scares.

i know i could go into the allegorical significance of godzilla or how fucking SICK the cgi is, or how compelling shikishima is as a character…

BUT CONSIDER: gigantic unstoppable destruction lizard that glows blue when it shoots nukes out of its mouth! HOLY SHIT!!!

i love this stupid ass movie enough to give it 5 stars, but i’m too embarrassed 🥺

This review may contain spoilers.

i really, genuinely wanted to love this.

unfortunately, there has been a massive step down in literally every category from Fury Road. 

absolutely vile green screen, fucked up cgi, weak/reused soundtrack, anya taylor joy (aka this film’s greatest strength) has maybe 25 lines? most of the comedy falls flat. most of the drama falls flat. most of the action falls flat. 

there’s a good movie buried somewhere in here, but the finished product just feels cheap and rushed compared to it’s predecessor. what a disappointment.

the glowing reviews on this are mystifying. History of the Occult did it better.

haha muscle bi and her scrawny murder dÿke mullet gf go brrrrrrrrr

it’s just really fucking good

there just isn’t enough happening here, but the atmosphere and sound were both great. the music in particular is a real gem.

come on man, Giamatti should at least get a little second place Oscar for this.

an incomplete and ever-expanding list of films wherein women are going absolutely feral, in different ways, for different reasons, to varying degrees.

• TÁR
• Raw
• Gone Girl
• The Witch
• Hereditary
• The Devil's Bath
• The Substance
• Saint Maud
• Midsommar
• Possessor

...plus 62 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.