Listen I don't know what y'all are on about, this movie is funny as fuck and a surprisingly good time. It actually does something somewhat unexpected with the premise and chooses not to make it a rehash of the same moral panics around stuff like Slenderman or Momo, instead making that moral panic over teens and tiktok and "why you always on that damn phone" itself into the problem. The fact that everything is set in motion in part by…

What I think is consistent in Jennifer Kent's work is that it's immaculately filmed and presented (except for the night scenes which are once again TOO FUCKING DARK, please horror filmmakers I'm begging you this trend must stop), brilliantly performed, full of tragically human characters who are mostly well written, striving to speak to larger themes and providing satisfying emotional catharsis... but it's just not horror. And that's okay! I wouldn't say it's "elevated horror" either. That title carries with…

Truly this is a bad movie without even touching on any of the actual content of the film, just on the basic tenets of filmmaking.

The editing is cooked, the structure lacks any kind of forward momentum, the aesthetic is like an even cheaper version of Netflix's already cheap-ass romcom thing using eyewateringly garish set dressing ang lighting to cover for a fundamental lack of creativity in the direction. The sound mix is so fucked I thought there was something…

I take no pleasure in informing you all that this movie is trans, actually, and as such belongs to me :)

I was surprised by how much I found to like in this, because it's set up like every other woods-based and/or survivalist ~elevated~ indie horror of the last five years and I was absolutely expecting to get something like The Ritual. And honestly, outside of Maika Monroe's consistently excellent acting, the first act isn't particularly compelling on its own.…

Yeah this really is a "queer" ""Gen Z"" """horror""" film written by a cis gay Gen X-er (whose one even horror-adjacent film credit is fucking Alien: Covenant), based on the one gay conversion therapy documentary he watched and the belief that Glee is still an accurate representation of what queer youth like.

It fails to be a satisfying or campy slasher because it's too busy being a tepid anti-homophobia PSA and taking itself too seriously, but it also fails to…

Maud no!!! That's not the presence of God that's just repressed lesbianism!!!!

I was an incredibly pious Catholic as a child. I was an altar server, sang in church choir, always did Lent, would cry when I had to miss church. When I got to high school I made multiple friends who'd never believed in god, and through that and generally embracing critical thinking (and probably a subconscious awareness of my inchoate queerness) I started to pull away from the…

A film about how someone can use the very thing that liberates you as just another method of control, a film about the misconception that detransitioners don't want to be trans when in fact far more often it's just that the burden of transphobia and transmisogyny grows too great to bear alone, a film about how tragedy and violence and oppression is so hypernormalised that you can literally consume a trilogy of video games about a system that's oppressing you…

I put this slap bang in the middle of The Last Five Years (the musical not the film) and A Marriage Story in of texts in which nervous yet creatively brilliant Jewish men go from glorifying their redheaded wife to realising she is in fact the true reason for their unhappiness, after which they spend the better part of the whole narrative making themselves the victim in every facet of their life yet also make sure to afford themselves…

In this movie Ralph Fiennes - who becomes a pacifist when his wife is killed in collateral damage during a war, and tries to protect his son by discouraging him from participating in the war machine (but also definitely nearly gets said son killed by making him try and seduce noted rapey faggot Rasputin!) - learns that pacifism is the coward's choice, shadowy organisations where the world is run by the aristocracy and landed gentry are good actually, and in…

(cw: discussion of transphobia, transmisogyny)

Why did I watch this when I knew it was going to make me miserable???

It honestly sucks for me to be reminded how much Harry Potter meant to me growing up. There's a world where it's something I could look back on with fondness like any of the other great loves I grew out of from my formative years (and hey, if you're a Harry Potter Adult, no shade to you, you do you,…

I was enjoying this as I was watching it, because 1) I love Lucy, 2) I love I Love Lucy, 3) I love Nicole Kidman and 4) I love and would do sexuals with Javier Bardem. But as I walked the dog after finishing the film, I got more and more annoyed about almost everything about it.

The fact that Sorkin is as seasoned a screenwriter as he is and he still needs the tiny baby training wheels of his…

[Garfield looking at a "no Garfields" sign meme but it's Adam McKay pointing at his movie about how we're all too obsessed with celebrity and clout and money and distraction to pay attention to the slow inevitable destruction of the planet and society, and no matter what we do the rich will get richer off our tragedies

"Huh. I wonder who that's for."

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Look I don't know if I really think that. Like, we're all just making #content to…