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Helen Hunt is the Jamie Lee Curtis of Jodie Fosters. Competent directing, decent enough acting, really good editing and sound, but nothing could save the stiff, unnatural dialogue and a screenplay trying to be smarter than it is

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(500) Days of Summer meets Saltburn. No notes
 
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A very competent, nicely-paced ensemble piece. Ashley Park and Josh Gad deliver plenty of silly laughs. I went in blind and thoroughly enjoyed the ride. My only critique is the music was overbearing at times when what a scene really needed was silence to help a joke or emotional moment hit harder 

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It took Netflix four years to follow up the fantastic Fear Street trilogy with this? And the writers didn't return which makes me think Netflix fired them to hire cheaper hacks, and it shows. Unfortunately, what makes the books great survived the creative-less process and I did find myself enjoying parts of the whole (just not the acting!)

This should've been a Debby Ryan vehicle. But wasting Devon Sawa was its biggest crime

I can't believe this spurred two sequels and made Vin Diesel a star, but it's still in his top 5 movies (The Iron Giant being #1)

The Babadook but in the woods and instead of grief it's agoraphobia, I guess???

This lost me every time Mark Ruffalo came onscreen. Bong Joon Ho should've reshot every scene with him once it was clear Trump would be running for reelection. It was a bad move and probably why the movie kept getting pushed. But if you hire Toni Collette to be Toni Collette, then you need a scene partner who balances things out. They should've cast an actor who can pull off evil without doing a character. Someone like Bruce Davison, Robert Patrick, or Peter Greene. Other than that, Robert Pattinson and the rest of the cast delivered, the first act was great with a heavy assist from the score, and I rarely say this, but it ran a half hour too long. Bring back sharp editing!

I signed up for a 10-day free trial of Philo to watch this, which I will be cancelling shortly because what do you mean it's $28 a month and there are still commercials every 14 minutes? Blake Lively should play more roles like this and wear more outfits like this and flirt with bisexuality more like this. Anna Kendrick can keep doing what she's doing!

I'm so sorry to the cinema of Japan, but Bullet Train Explosion is the "beautiful gowns" of movies

The whole movie, I thought their names were Val and Mal, but I just went with it because it's a Marvel movie so whatever! My brain was already half turned off

My thoughts in no particular order:

- I get she isn't in the bloodline, but B-movie Jennifer Coolidge not dying was a bummer. She just lost her husband and three kids, just put the poor woman out of her misery

- Jerry Fenbury gets name-checked as Erik's real dad, but doesn't make an appearance? The joke only half lands then. Just have him be a nerdy neighbor who waves at one point!

- Letterboxd needs a poll feature, because did Erik have a Prince Albert or was he wearing a cock cage? Like his septum piercing tore through cartilage with ease, but you're saying a PA couldn't rip off? No ma'am, that boy was locked

- A pet peeve of mine is when no one survives a horror movie. I give this series more leeway, because it's literally the premise but this ending had already been done. Fans are begging for Mary Elizabeth Winstead to still be alive, but they chose to close every door again this time. Ali Larter got to be in two movies at least. We need someone to root for in order for a franchise to...survive

- Tony Todd, whose character is next in line, deserved a post-credits death scene where he's in a hospice bed and the wind chimes blow, but he tells death, "You're too late," and dies peacefully

I know, I know, I know, but it's "of its time"—y'know?

The skinhead tattooists who was bleeding out from the axillary artery in his armpit would've been dead in 2 minutes

I can't decide if this is the worst thing I've ever seen or the future of cinema

When Prison Break's own Peter Stormare is playing the stereotypical gas station attendant who's usually only in one scene, you kinda know who the big bad is. It's like how the most famous guest star in an episode of Law & Order is usually the killer. That didn't stop me from enjoying the hell out of this movie! I just wish we got to see all 13 nights even if only in snippets on the cellphone screen

I'd like to speak to the continuity supervisor who slept on their one job. The plate was on her knee. The plate was on the table. The plate was on her knee. The plate was on the table...

A who's who of 90s movies actors everyone knows more from TV now

Tom Cruise's best movie, but not Steven Spielberg's, and not Tom Cruise's best performance (that's Magnolia)

So forgettable, I forgot I watched it once before

I'll it I only watched this to see Joseph Fiennes' butt

So did Jaboukie just help the deadly autonomous robot and gtfo or what??!

I can only assume there were rewrites and reshoots that left Jon Bernthal's part on the cutting room floor, because why is he even there? But, like the rest of the movie, if you dwell on anything about it too long, everything falls apart. Why is Charlie wearing office attire to restore an old Cessna? Why are there paparazzi at his rural farmhouse gate after his wife dies? Why doesn't Blazhi just get out of the pool right there instead of trying to swim to the other side 50 meters away? I don't know though, Rami Malek is kind of winning as an autistic John Wick. I know I'm in the minority here, but he deserved that Oscar!

I just know Matt Rogers was livid when Jeffery Self beat him out for the role of the gay waiter

Are people born Tarantino, or is Tarantinoness trust upon them?

For the amount of press he's doing, you'd think Bill Murray is in more than one and a half scenes of this movie, amounting to maybe 8 minutes of screentime total, but you'd be wrong! My one big criticism is by nature of the medium, novelist don't write believable dialogue, which is a problem because the directing duo of Scott McGehee and David Siegel didn't so much adapt the book by Sigrid Nunez as they just reformatted her words into a screenplay. Naomi Watts works her magic though

I've missed you, Joel Kinnaman

Rewatched Smile to confirm Smile 2 s a small list of sequels that are better than the original (T2, Catching Fire, Godfather: Part II, Aliens, Before Midnight, From Russia With Love, The Dark Knight, Christmas Vacation, and The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly—end of list!)

Skye Riley, your lack of instincts should be studied. Fight or flight? More like stare blankly ahead and die. It was nice to see Rosemarie DeWitt though!

I'm such a sucker for something this dumb. I laughed a good amount, but every scene felt like the first take. And Jillian Bell is criminally underutilized as the straight man. Will Forte though...he can come get me kinda pregnant

People sleep on Scream 3, but it's kind of a perfect third chapter. It is the least scary though, if you could call it scary at all. And when it's revealed who Ghostface is, you're like...really? No one could best that nisse??!

Such a good concept wasted on a stoner movie

SZA is the John Candy of her generation! This is no Planes, Trains and Automobiles though. It needed to be snappier, but at an hour and a half if they trimmed any more fat, it would be an episode of television

The reveal that Arnold is the good guy...one of the greatest in cinema history. Still homoerotic, thankfully

Can I just say these movies are incredibly homoerotic?! Also, I'm so into Hoopla right now! Taking advantage of my tax dollars while they're still being directed toward library services

Not to be all "They don't make movies like this anymore," but they don't make movies like this anymore! Now that's acting! No soundtrack or quick cuts to fall back on, just a great script and raw talent. They sure had a different definition of 'romantic comedy' back then though. But Joey is only 23 and John is a 37 year old widower and they met just 10 days ago. If I were their parents, I'd be gooped too!

I'm pretty sure Sia would let you license her music for an OnlyFans collab at this point

Jared Leto is 53 playing at most a 33 years old, but the funniest part is he discovers artificial blood and its significance is barely acknowledged, as if that wouldn't be world changing. This should've been a gay love story though, because every time Morbius say, "Milo" it sounds like he's saying "My love"

When Oliver Platt screamed...that's comedy! And I always appreciate a good soundtrack. Just wish the movie had a plot

A cast full of funny people and not a single joke in the whole script. They sure tried their best! Lisa Kudrow's wig stole the show though

A perfect 90 minutes. An ensemble full of actors who never get to use their real accents onscreen. Cate Blanchett is flawless casting ( back when she did a romcom?!). The Wickedesque lighting choices were bad though

This review may contain spoilers.

I'm so tired of horror movies without final girls. The only time it worked is in The Descent (UK Version). The box cutter didn't even go that deep

Do drag queens see Cillian Murphy's jawline and cheekbones and go into an absolute blind rage?

I love horror movies and apply an inflated metric to reviewing them on here, but I honestly don't have to for The Substance. This was cinema! I wish I saw it in theaters. So many bold choices. I especially loved the smaller moments like the child who's allowed to watch topless strippers, but her mother covers her eyes when ElizaSue walks on stage. I want a sequel that's a straight whodunnit following a detective duo solving the brutal murder of Elizabeth Sparkle. Demi for the win!

Okay, but what about the whale??! The movie just ends like that...maybe it's a very Latvian thing to do, I don't know

Pretty straightforward newsroom movie. Not really sure why it's in the awards race. The best part was the set

It's set in Baltimore, but filmed in Canada...in the winter so it's snowing all the time. Why not set it Minneapolis or literally anywhere else but Baltimore, which it's clearly not. I usually don't complain about a movie being too long, but crime thrillers need to be a little zippier—this one dragged a lot. Them getting fired right after being told the investigation's out of their hands then someone else actually screws it up was silly. At least give us a believable series of events

Poor Maria Bakalova, married to Borat first and now Trump. Of all the film's performances, hers is the only one deserving of awards attention. Sebastian Stan is fine and Jeremy Strong is capital A acting (derogatory). EDIT: I've softened on it with time. I now think all the performances were right for the movie. I just hate him so much, I couldn't separate my feelings

I don't know why critics were torn over this—it's kinda great. I especially like that Mackenzie Davis' character took control while her husband fell apart. It reminded me of Reese Witherspoon's Women of the Year speech criticizing male writers who always have their female characters saying, "What do we do now?"

Two people who definitely shouldn't be married sowing their wild oats. A tale as old as time! Why all the drama? Surprisingly great cast. Lost a half a star for the shameless Tesla product placement