Having trouble staying focused lately. Staying alert, staying grateful, staying content. Just staying still and looking around. It's always an issue but the world more and more feels like it's surely impossible for anyone, not just me. It's a low-grade—often not so low—anxiety, paranoia, gloom, just kind of throw it all in and shut the blinds kind of way. There's no room for small things, no time for plain tiny pleasures. They're romanticised because they just don't seem real. Even…

“It's the promise of life, it's the joy in your heart.”

So much to say and no clue where to begin. Makes me grateful and hopeful and terrified and excited about every decision, every meeting, every kiss that’s turned into a memory that’s turned into the best feeling in the world, however fleeting, even when you know there’s an end and a sadness and a loneliness and a sharp pang of quiet to follow soon after. Is it worth it?…