I'm 80 years old.

Marvel Studios's most soulless product yet. There's really nothing to hold on to here: dull action, every actor phoning it in, empty characters, not even an attempt at any kind of depth. You'd think a villain who's deal is calculating the probability of every situation would thrive in such a formulaic story!
Made me yearn for the tiny sparks of ion scattered around The Marvels. Do they even want to make movies?
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
David Lynch and Nicolas Cage are both kind of similar in that they're viewed by those less familiar as primarily being 'wacky', while being so much more. The reason they're both so 'weird' in their individual ways isn't an attempt to be zany, it's born from a ion for their art so explosive it can't be contained in convention.
In the final sequence of Wild at Heart as Cage screams "LULAAAAA!" before running across the tops of cars in a…