What happened in 1982-83: 
I’m 13, almost 14? We had pirate cable HBO. The TV still had a knob, and you would switch the channel by rotating the knob, and if you spun it hard enough you could go all the way from 3 (where the HBO was) up through the VHF channels and up into the bottom half of the UHF channels. So I would sit there like 2 feet from the TV, watch something for 10-20 seconds, go…

My spouse told me this film intensified her menstrual cramps.

This film made me newly appreciate basic things about even mediocre films like lighting, pacing, clear audio production, basic editing, even minimal  production quality…I’m glad the mastermind genius behind this opus has a sense of humor, I just wish more of it was in the film. 

The CGI is strictly community college intro course, midterm-level quality, which does contribute to some unintentional humor. 
Every underwater shot is clearly in the…

Looks seriously expensive. 

Great stuff. Production designed to the umpteenth degree. Every detail just so. Color palette specific. Costuming, set design, props, everything serves a gory, bloody center surrounded by a gothic sweetened candy shell. (There are 21 set decorators listed in the Letterboxd crew listing for this film; it looks to me like they needed every one of them.) So goddamn accomplished it’s hard to get your brain around it because it appears so effortless. Cannot imagine the impact…