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Doesn't quite collapse under the weight of its titanic self-importance, but-
I don't know, it's all just a bit too much for me, excessive and not always in a good way.

Watched on Saturday June 7, 2025.

Watched on Wednesday June 4, 2025.

"If you watch it long enough, the river will show you everything."

Even for an ‘atmosphere-first, plot-second’ kind of a film, the story here is thin & the resolution perfunctory — but the two leads & the cinematography are good enough that I found this a rewarding watch anyway. 

Sort of interesting how even though one character is constantly recording events, we don’t really see much from that perspective. Gives the film kind of a found-footage vibe without actually being shot that way.

A stark tower watching over a lonely village at the edge of the domain, menaced by raiders from across the water. A warrior elite ruling over half-civilized peasants with unquestioned authority.

It isn't 'historically accurate' as such — paganism was long gone by this time, and droit du seigneur wasn't really a thing — but it does capture the feel of the earlier middle ages. Personally, I've always preferred mail hauberks & austere keeps to shining plate & elaborate castles, so this is very much my thing.

With some well-written dialogue (presumably from the original play?), a strong lead performance, and the excellent battle sequences, you have something which really landed with me. I will definitely be rewatching it, and also probably painting some miniature Norman soldiers.

Doesn't always work — the violent bits in particular feel kind of forced & self-conscious — but there's excellent production design, and the overall 'unhinged girlies' aesthetic really carries it. (Bonus points for not referencing Alice in Wonderland.)

Watched on Sunday May 25, 2025.

Watched on Wednesday May 21, 2025.

Frequently clunky, sometimes amateurish, occasionally transcendental— but always interesting.

Watched on Sunday May 18, 2025.

More interesting than actually good, aside from a few eerie sequences this mostly has only curiosity value. But then a Jonestown-era TV movie about a UFO cult based on the gurus who went on to lead Heaven's Gate is pretty curious.

My first watch since seeing it at release, confirming my original opinion that it's a terrible adaptation but decent enough in itself, a perfectly serviceable bit of '00s Urban Fantasy.

Watched on Saturday May 10, 2025.

Seeing this at release was probably my introduction to New England Gothic, I watched it quite a few times after in the VHS days but this was my first time since. It's held up pretty well, I still like it!
This time round though I did find a few parts felt a little goofy in a way that doesn't gel with the overall atmosphere, the possessed witch in particular — almost like Burton was flinching away from playing things straight.

(I was intending to see the last showing of Sinners at my local but— events. The same thing happened with Nosferatu, I guess the fates conspire against my watching vampire movies.)

For all that I usually prefer my historical/fantasy fiction to be more on the grittier, grimier side I can't help but love the look of these Technicolor classics. Elaborate sets, colourful costumes, hosts of extras, the pageantry of it all — Golden Age Hollywood and medieval courtly culture fit together perfectly.

After a half-century of prequels & sequels & spinoffs it's harder to appreciate, but— there really is a whole universe here, just off-screen.

Watched on Saturday May 3, 2025.

Watched on Wednesday April 30, 2025.

I do like how this portrays fascist warmongers (accurately enough in many cases) as being deeply incompetent at actually fighting a war — a bunch of Eisen-und-Blud speechifying, then a mob of overconfident thugs run directly at the enemy before panicking the moment they meet resistance.

The psychosexual stuff doesn't really land for me, the lead seems so withdrawn and affectless that it kind of undercuts any sense of her being genuinely fixated? But there are a few really nice scenes, a general sense of rootless ennui, and plenty of harsh/hazy digital footage of Tokyo mundanity, so that's something.

Watched on Monday April 21, 2025.

Watched on Sunday April 20, 2025.

Mostly only notable as a precursor to Robin of Sherwood, which took the relatively gritty take on medieval outlaws and blended it with Celtic mythology to create something magnificent. Still, there's some nicely bleak landscapes (courtesy of North Wales), and at under an hour it's worth a look for completists.

Watched on Wednesday April 16, 2025.

Maybe an odd thing to say about a film with such frenetic pace & hectic style, but this does feel a bit rushed towards the end — another ten-fifteen minutes, and I think the finale would have worked better. (Fighting against time! How meta.)

Watched on Monday April 14, 2025.

Even with a ropey transfer and often-barely-comprehensible subtitles this was worth watching, always entertaining and occasionally great. (And has possibly the most . . . enthusiastic sound design I've ever heard.)

By now it's partly nostalgia for the time when a film like this could get a big-name lead, a decent budget, and a theatrical release, but that aside I've had a bit of a soft spot for this one since it came out. A straightforward everything-gets-worse story, executed well with a pleasing lurid sheen.

Watched on Wednesday April 9, 2025.

Watched on Sunday April 6, 2025.

Watched on Saturday April 5, 2025.

I can't believe it took me two decades to discover this! If only I'd known about it in '03, I could have watched it with my friends from the university role-playing society — probably the ideal audience. We'd have been making references to it for months, and possibly created the unofficial Despiser RPG.

Does occasionally totter on the edge of being too oblique & studied for it's own good, but the incredible atmosphere is easily enough to carry it through the occasional languor.

Watched on Saturday March 29, 2025.

"They're all dust now, those brave silvered warriors."

A solid work of pulp fantasy, a little too much sepia-tone even for me but some nice grimdark-esque imagery and a pleasing lack of ironic distancing. Kind of feels like something Albert Pyun might have made if he'd had a lot more money.

I saw this in the cinema, twice. And then numerous times on VHS and then DVD. (I'd buy it on BluRay if it had one over here.) I just unironically, genuinely, really like it. The candy-bright visuals, the sun-baked unreality, the goofy absurdity of it all — the early '00s fantasy world of a good-natured adolescent boy that's had too much sugar.

(It took me until this viewing to realise that the FBI guy is wearing a Sam & Twitch t-shirt. That's kind of a deep cut!)

"Why is it us? Why us?"
"Because we're here lad. Nobody else. Just us."

Watched on Friday March 21, 2025.

"It's instant death for friends to split up inside the dungeon."

I suppose it's partly the nostalgic appeal of its 'classic anime' aesthetic, but the very-literally-adapted vision of a world running on the rules of a dungeon-crawling RPG — which in modern anime usually seems cynical & pandering — here feels quite charming.

Could do with being a little longer, the ending does feel a touch rushed? But a very interesting little film, some wonderful shots of aging snowbound buildings, sparse candle-lit interiors, tiny figures making their way across the great white expanse.

Watched on Tuesday March 18, 2025.

"You labour or management?"
"If I was management I wouldn't have given you a cigarette."

Like the cars, this film is deceptively fast, carefully engineered, and possesses a certain European prestige. (Also it can't quite keep to the road the whole time.)

Watched on Sunday March 16, 2025.

If there was more awesome bounty-hunter woman and less goofy comic relief guys this would be absolutely fantastic. (The bizarro biohorror monster is in it the correct amount of time.) But as it is it's still really good!

I'm not totally sold on the ending, but then it's always tricky to satisfactorily end a story like this. Otherwise there's a strong central performance, and nice cinematography that helps assuage the feeling that this might have worked just as well as an audio drama.

Watched on Tuesday March 11, 2025.

Watched on Tuesday March 11, 2025.

Watched on Monday March 10, 2025.

Watched on Sunday March 9, 2025.