The Nostromo is governed by procedures, not principles; likewise, its crew treat each other as coworkers, not friends. In a text conversation mid-movie, Evan described Alien as “the most bureaucratic horror movie ever made”, and he’s absolutely right—the first remotely diegetic words in this movie are a clinical description of the ship’s specs (“crew: seven”. No names, just “seven”), and the last ones are a routine report from Ripley, evenly and laconically relaying the worst experience of her life. The first…

The revolution will not be televised, but it may well be dramatized. A lot funnier and more playful than I ed, to the point that Kaufman sometimes threatens to get too cute with it (“Dr. Hessborg” had me worried toward the beginning, but the film settles into a charming closer to the perpetually burning house). Simultaneously, not quite as dense as I ed—surrealism and non sequitur aside, the whole thing’s easy enough to follow if you can keep the characters’…

I am scared of the Mogwai. I am not scared of the gremlins they become, but I am deeply afraid of the prospect of owning a high-maintenance pet. When asked whether I am a cat person or a dog person, my stock answer is "I prefer other people's dogs, but I would prefer owning a cat myself", because I would much rather work to earn my pet's attention than the other way around. Frankly, though, either one would terrify me…

Embarrassing blind spot. The concept alone would have been enough to cement this as a classic, and that's…most of what Nightmare's script has going for it, to be honest. Nothing wrong with the dialogue or anything; I just wish Craven and crew had leaned further into the dream logic—ironically, it only ever shows up in full force when Freddy manifests in the real world. (I have it on good authority that the sequels play this up more.) Otherwise, though, the…

At its best when it throws cohesion to the wind and focuses on pure scenario—the most memorable of these segments are the most plotless, where the characters are vessels for the scares above all else. That’s why I’m not sure why Shimizu ends the film on such an expository note. It’s like he doesn’t understand what worked in the movie he made. The misstep would be more forgivable in a more polished product, but the only real way to spin Ju-on‘s…

ed all the famous shots, but completely forgot how smartly written the narrative is. To hone in on one detail: Unosuke’s pistol acts as a lurking diabolus ex machina, a literal gun brought to a sword fight, and its constant threat forces Sanjuro to adopt a more cerebral approach than Mifune’s physical presence would dictate. (Before Tatsuya Nakadai enters the picture, it’s entirely conceivable that Sanjuro might take on both gangs solo. He’d win, too.) And Yojimbo is all the better…