Tonight I took part in a mass delusion ritual. I ed a packed house of cinemagoers flocking to laugh at a movie that they've convinced themselves is beneath their goodwill. Every joke, they told themselves was not an intentional act of comedy, but a bizarre mistake worthy of ironic reverence. So they laughed. Y'know, that thing you do when you hear a joke. Not to be That Guy writing an essay on the goddamn Chicken Jockey movie, but I am FASCINATED by this thing.

Fascinated by this global wave of performative contempt for a movie that, though very very stupid, not only knows exactly how very very stupid it is, but is entirely purposeful in its stupidity. Audiences are arriving en masse to jeer at the cringe parade, never stopping to realise, god forbid, what if all of the awkward line readings, weird songs and goofy visuals were put there by people who actually know what they're doing? If Jared Hess, the director of Napoleon Dynamite doesn't know cringe, who does?

Now, A Minecraft Movie is no Napoleon Dynamite, not by a longshot. It's narratively scattershot, internally sloppy, and its characters range from paper to toilet-paper thin. But it is funny. Frequently. I can't help but despair a little seeing movies fall from an experience to take on their own , to something audiences are determined to beat at their own game. Hess and WB were smart to forego any attempt at genuine pathos or insight when this kind of reaction was inevitable. IP fatigue is hitting hard, maybe the cinematic shitpost is the only move studios have left. 

I can see it all out in front of me. A cynicism arms race. Deadpool's snark has lost its edge, now the next "I Am Steve" wins the culture. Get ahead of the conversation, convince the world you're sitting on a bomb. Now convince them it's a bomb they can't afford to miss. Pick your 5 weirdest line deliveries and by hook or by crook they have to go viral. Follow my lead and god willing, you're the next Barbenheimer. Snow White's veneer of sincerity was its death warrant. A Minecraft Movie is a black hole from which no earnestness can escape. The Rosetta Stone for the next 20 years of box office success and the only thing giving me hope that cinemas will survive so long. Gentleman's 5/10.