The world's most unrateable movie. Could not wipe the smile off my face the entire time - incredibly entertaining, astonishingly surreal, and had all the stunning visual flair of the silent German masters, like Murnau and Lang. The editing, visual effects and a good chunk of the highly stylised performances were world class, and hopefully get the recognition they deserve. I absolutely loved the experience and I am so glad it exists.

Also true: I cannot specifically recommend this to another living being without potentially ruining that relationship. Sometimes you can barely believe what has made it to screen, with discordant performance notes, distracting story + logic jumps and obtuse directing choices giving the film an embarrassingly sophomoric vibe at points. Indeed, I read a report that some crew privately noted it felt like Coppola had never made a film before; I can imagine the final product may not have allayed all their fears. It is also incredibly understandable that Coppola, in making a film about a sexually irresistible creative genius who saves a world who doesn't understand him by crushing then allying with the powerful status quo, had to fund this thing himself.

Look, put it this way: the crowd spoke through the whole thing, and nobody had a problem with it. They laughed at serious points. They cringed at funny points. Knowing glances were exchanged constantly between perplexed movie nerds. Others watched in confused horror. Plenty walked out. As the credits started rolling, the entire cinema spontaneously broke into genuine and sincere applause. That's the Francis Ford difference.

This is not a good movie. This is not a bad movie. It lives outside such petty rankings, and laughs in the face of public taste. It marches to the beat of its own drum, if the drum were a man painted gold just yelling "DRUM" every time he is hit. Coppola has taken the world's biggest swing and hit a massive home run that has struck and killed a fan in the stands.

Megalopolis is an epic that demands to be witnessed. It is five stars and no stars all at once. Just don't tell 'em I sent ya.