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When I was 3 years old, equipped with my blue Mickey Mouse toy guitar and VHS copy of this movie, I would play along to Valens’ performance of “La Bamba” at the Alan Freed concert toward the end of the film.

This one is special to me.

The Post-Apocalypse.

Brought to you by Apple.

Thunderbolts made this kinda worse……Because now we live in a world where the MCU features a Captain America who sues for copyright of superhero team names…..and knowing that now just makes the proceedings here feel I dunno…..gross.

Seriously…..what are we doing here Kevin?

More like Captain Litigious. 🙄

Beyond bored with all these wanna-be action franchises where the studios think that they can just throw a bunch of money at it, cast A-list stars and then just run a derivative story idea through an AI engine so it pumps out the requisite amount of fake snarky Marvel style wit and expect a positive result on the back-end.

This is Slopbuster 101. Dont waste your time.

Side Note: John…..please…..stick to the serious stuff. Quiet Place, Jack Ryan, 13 Hours thats your wheel house and you crush……This? This aint it bro. Leave this kind of nonsense to Chris Pratt……and Natalie…..You good? Did that Dior check bounce or something? Call me.

Death sure does have an innate ability to dig up the past huh?

Death is a woman.

We need more Talia Shire in movies again.

Marvel Studios made a movie version of Welcome to the Black Parade.

Literally and figuratively.

When we say that we miss 90s movies and how studios used to do it?

This is exactly what we’re talking about.

I get that this is supposed to be a realistic of what occurred.

But when what feels like 75% of your 95 minute movie is just injured men screaming in agony and the other guys putting pressure on and tending to their wounds and it all takes place in the same spot? Yeah…..I’m out…..This isnt a movie. I’m not sure what this is.

Its beautifully shot though when its not an episode of E.R. Iraq.

“FINE! TAKE IT!” 😂

My wife and I still reference this line almost weekly.

I really miss David Alan Grier in his prime. Hands down one of the funniest actors of the 90’s.

I still can’t wrap my head around how so many of you thought this one was better than Wakanda Forever.

What are you talking about? Look…..I dig this movie. Its a fun time. I’ll throw it on any time its playing on TNT which is like 3700 times a week……and Boseman was the GOAT (RIP). But lets be honest. Black Panther is a masterclass in being derivative.

As you have all no doubt heard before….Its The Lion King but with people instead of animated cats……To such a degree that it is also set in Africa and the characters fucking dress up like cats. Guys…..thats crazy.

Boseman’s unfortunate ing forced Disney’s hand into crafting a sequel that felt fresh and original.

Stop kidding yourselves.

This movie.

This movie right here is why we Gen Xers and Elder Millennials speak about 80’s movies and say things like “They don’t make them like they used to.”

In 1987, they made a movie about a guy who fucks a mannequin. Like a whole ass movie…..with a studio budget and everything.

There is nothing else to say.

I don’t know why but I had to revisit this for some reason….haven’t seen it or even thought about it since it first came out…..

Marvel…..Disney…..Kevin my guy……

What the fuck? What the fuck were you thinking when you made this? Kevin seriously….blink twice if you’re in danger….

What the hell is happening…..why is there a prolonged musical sequence?! That whole part of the movie just made me fucking uncomfortable in a way that I have never felt in a movie and I saw Schindler’s List IN THEATERS WITH A JEWISH FRIEND’S FAMILY AND I’M GERMAN.

Fucking Christ.

Watching a movie and wanting nothing more than to choke out every single person on screen is not my idea of a good time.

Charles in charge of dem panties

I’m Kamala Harris, and I approve this message.

Rewatch in prep for Thunderbolts.

Well…..I mean….Its a movie. 🤷🏼‍♂️

Rewatch in prep for Thunderbolts.

Never really understood some of the more visceral hate this one got.

Yelena and Red Guardian rule as does Natasha as she always does.

Aside from the CATACLYSMIC misfire with regard to Taskmaster and the wonky Victoria Alonso induced VFX……This one is kind of a banger.

Rewatch in prep for Thunderbolts.

I dunno man this one was kinda rough to go back to. The politics and societal discourse of the time of its release feels cringey and gross even more so than it did back then. Cap at the end scolding United States Senators for referring to people who kill innocent people with car bombs and mass shootings as terrorists and insisting that they stop is just…..well its something…..

Not to mention insinuating that a man who SAVED THE UNIVERSE cant get a bank loan because he’s black is just downright comically ridiculous.

The opening action sequence of the first episode, however, is possibly the best thing Marvel has done on Disney+ so far. The show gave us U.S. Agent who we will see again this weekend in Thunderbolts and ended up being one of the best and most complex new characters we’ve gotten since Endgame, and it brought back Baron Zemo…..The MCU’s best villain (You know its true). So its not all bad……These three things alone earn it a full star. Otherwise this would be a two star project. 🤷🏼‍♂️

Dumbest fucking parents in the history of film.

Yall are FULLY FUCKING AWARE that he is not of this fucking planet.

Are you fucking mental? What kind of severe disassociative psychopathy has to go into convinicing yourselves that “He’s just a normal 12 year old boy”? Jesus fuck.

Congrats. Now you’re fucking dead.

Morons.

Like Booksmart…..it tried really hard to be Superbad but was made by not funny people.

Therefore it was super bad.

Honestly I dont have much to say here.

Skip it.

It kinda sucks.

Meandering nonsense more interested in making veiled digs at the current American political climate than telling a cohesive story.

I don’t really care honestly if youre gonna make a movie thats largely an indictment on either political party or political figure in this country. But if you do…..at least make the comedic elements actually funny and for the love of God…..don’t do it at the expense of story or character.

$100 says Mark Ruffalo’s ego took this gig thinking his take on some sort of pseudo-Trump in a Bong Joon Ho movie was his sure fire path to an Oscar.

Nah bruh. This aint it.

From the opening expository frames….you know immediately that this is going to be the most Dad Movie to ever Dad Movie.

From a technical perspective, the way Jordan films the fight scenes in this movie makes it the greatest boxing movie ever made.

You cannot argue this. It is objective fact.

Dear Evan Hansen,

Die in a fire.

-Steve

“LoOK aT Me iM rOBeRt DeNiRO…..I pLAy oLD gUy whO dOEs cRImE”

No one fucking cares anymore Bob.

Retire.

So Neil…..my guy…..You’ve been a sad sack of shit this whole movie because your fuckin kid died so fuck it…..Shoot for the Moon, and even if you miss, you'll run out of oxygen and fuel shortly thereafter and your frozen carcass will be doomed to drift along your miscalculated trajectory for eons in a cruel cosmic joke until you're eventually ripped apart in a singularity or incinerated before even reaching the surface of a star……Best case scenario you remain forgotten and alone in the void until the eventual heat death of the universe.

YOLO

After believing his mother has been killed…..Percy’s reaction is akin to someone realizing they forgot to do their homework.

The fuck man lol

Water Dripping Off People in Slow Motion: The Movie

San Francisco shouldn’t have worn that slutty shoreline. It was just asking for it.

While I dig this flick and always have…..Its just not realistic….If we were ed by alien life then its clear what would be done and what must be done......Find the aliens, kill them, steal anything of worth, erase their existence from galactic textbooks, profit, profit, profit, profit......They have no rights......worthless alien scumbags.

Whats this lets be friends and learn from each other bullshit? 🙄

Zemeckis you fucking hippie.

Ok so when the last ditch effort plan seemingly goes to shit…..The Government had one last plan to “stop the Moon”

Nuke it.

They were gonna nuke the Moon guys……..To stop it……from crashing into Earth.

They…..they were gonna nuke it…….

🫠

The beginning of this movie features a Meg bursting out of the ocean to eat a T-Rex during the Cretaceous while inexplicably needle dropping Under Pressure by Queen….The scene then segues to Statham doing pull ups before performing his duties as some sort of freelance Captain Planet against some French guys cartoonishly polluting the ocean with barrels of toxic waste.

$10 says the script for this movie was written in crayon……and not just regular crayons…..I’m talking about those big fat ones they give to the dumb kids.

Blatant John Wick ripoff that…..to be honest…..I wouldn’t mind seeing a sequel to.

I’m never opposed to watching Jason Statham kill people in new and creative ways. 🤷🏼‍♂️

SIDE NOTE: Portraying Springfield, MA as some remote out of the way rural community where people can live like hermits and keep bees is one of the most outrageously ridiculous things I have ever seen in a movie 😂. I live about 25 minutes outside Springfield……The people there do not keep bees and own farmhouses…….They do meth and aggravated assault.

A rapturous, beautiful, and remarkable experience.

A real ring-a-ding-ding.

I’m about to say something cliché, pretentious and super douchey and to be honest……I’ve made my peace with that.

If you dont love this movie…..You’re watching movies wrong.

This movie was perfectly represented by Courteney Cox’s haircut. Bad.

This one sucks.

Nobody of any consequence actually dies. People just get stabbed real bad but end up okay. Those who do die are either bystanders, “characters” with one or two lines who die off-screen, or the prerequisite prologue deaths.

Lets hope they do better in the next one.

Air Force One and Olympus Has Fallen had a bastard Gen Z baby out of wedlock.

This is the most 2025 movie I believe anyone has ever or will ever see.

The elite Special Forces, Secret Service and Protection Teams of the most powerful leaders in the world, The U.S., China, Russia, Turkey, The U.K. etc get absolutely FOLDED by a crack squad of fucking Bitcoin Terrorists who utilize Deep Fakes and A.I. to spread “disinformation”. BUT FEAR NOT DEAR VIEWER! The stunningly fair, brave and true lady President of the United States escapes and she’s THE ONLY CHANCE ANYONE HAS GOT. Do you even know how many glass ceilings she’s had to break to get to where she is? 100 years ago she wouldnt have even been able to vote! You think a bunch of cis-gendered white males are gonna bring her down?! THINK AGAIN INCEL! She did war once back in the day and she got a boo boo on her knee one time! So….ha…..yeah….youre in bigggggg trouble!

This movie is a fucking nightmare.

Hilarious.

Minus half star for John’s cousin who seemingly traveled back in time from 2025 with her inexplicably bleeding heart everything offends me nonsense that makes no fucking sense within the framework of 1993.

It was fun.

However, I’m convinced Jack Quaid was out with Strep the week they taught about the dangers of type-casting at The Nepo-Baby Academy.

I laughed when Wes died because...you know….frosted tips.

He deserved it.

Finally tried watching this and my only takeaway is regardless of your political leanings or where you stand on any issue……I feel like we can all agree that if Donald Trump deported James Corden…..It would be a net positive.

This shit mean somethin to me mannnn

Social Media sucks ass.

BUT I’ve seen so many reactions to this show claiming “its the devil and ruining kids” and while I agree to an extent…..lets be real. Social Media is just today’s scape goat. Just like Video Games or Rap music when I was growing up. Get real. The problem has never been exterior.

Kids are awful nightmare creatures. They fucking suck and they always will and it sometimes results in people fucking dying. Be it murder, suicide, or both. Just thinking about that is fucking alot. But we have to either figure out a legitimate way to fix it or just fold and reconcile with it. Stop blaming other shit for our own problems as a society.

Anyways…..I’d rate the show higher if it wasnt so truncated.

So here’s what I think is going on. Hollywood is hiding something from us. Fully functional androids. Androids so advanced that their bodies work just like a regular human being.

With this film, they took one of their Hollywood android nightmare machines and fed it a whole bunch of Taco Bell and Flamin Hot Cheetos. After the resulting explosive robot diarrhea, they collected it and brought it to the Old Witch lady from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. She subsequently swirled the A.I. doo doo around with her creepy long witch finger nails on an old plate alongside some dominoes or whatever.

Her visions resulted in this psychotic fever dream of a movie that can seemingly only be enjoyed by either A. Being an idiot child or B. Eating your weight in Skittles while free basing Pre-Workout.

Always dug this flick……Still laugh everytime at the scene in the Pizzeria when Fairuza Balk walks in and the guy workin there says to Renfro “She’s so hot!”

lol like what? you sure about that? cuz I’m not.

Dude…..do yall even when this shit came out? Hell…..even the trailers had people cumming in their pants. This shit is a God-Level banger.

THIS is what Disney is capable of. Instead we get Snow White dime store trash. What a shame.

I don’t care what anyone says.

This movie fucks.

Found this as a result of a video I randomly saw on TikTok.

In a nutshell: Sean Astin rules. Baseball rules. Politicians are fucking scum sucking trash.

All of this tracks. Decent flick.

Side Note: Rachel Leigh Cook as romantic fodder for Sean Astin…..Fuckin weeeeiiiiiiiird dude. Borderline uncomfortable. Gave off big time divorced Dad dating the babysitter vibes.