Wick Is Pain

2025

★★★★ Liked Rewatched

This doc mirrors the films themselves, in the sense that it lays it all out there. There’s no hiding behind empty platitudes the way there’s no hiding behind camera cuts or CGI stunts. The original directors fight, the financing falls through, the studio demands changes (some as silly as “Keanu Reeves should not have a beard”). Yes, there’s some self-congratulation, but you also understand by the end why John Wick stands head and shoulders above the competition: Because they’re made by people who won’t accept anything less than their absolute best, pain be damned.

Along Came Polly

2004

Watched

Philip Seymour Hoffman is so funny in this movie that watching it made me actively sad.

Ballerina

2025

★★★½ Liked Watched

Guys, I hate to break it to you, but this movie is NOT about Ana de Armas doing ballet.

More at ScreenCrush.

Little Fockers

2010

Watched

Robert De Niro looks at Jessica Alba’s MySpace page in this movie.

A Disturbance in the Force: How the Star Wars Holiday Special Happened

2023

★★★ Liked 1

A documentary that gets a little Lumpy at times.

The Paul Lynde Halloween Special

1976

★½ 1

When I was little, kids would dare each other to make and drink “suicides” from the soda fountain by filling a cup with every single option in the machine. Each individual flavor was great; together they were disgusting, hence the nature of the dare.

If that beverage was a TV show, it would be The Paul Lynde Halloween Special. So many odd and contradictory elements! Paul Lynde! Donny & Marie! Betty White! The actual Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz! Kiss! Florence Henderson singing a disco song for some reason! More Kiss!

Just absolutely unhinged trainwreck television. Plus: Free refills!

The Star Wars Holiday Special

1978

½ Rewatched

The fact that George Lucas spent 35 years tweaking and tinkering with and then re-releasing every notable piece of Star Wars media in every possible format and even he was like "This thing is totally unsalvageable, we must quarantine it so it cannot harm our valuable brand, bury it in the back of the warehouse from Raiders of the Lost Ark” tells you everything you need to know about this turd.

Chewbacca has a mother and a son in this TV special. They were never seen — or even referenced — ever again. Is Chewie a deadbeat dad???

Zoolander 2

2016

★½ Rewatched

I still maintain that if they had just called this 2lander it would have made $600 million worldwide.

Karate Kid: Legends

2025

★★ Watched

Forget about the whole “two branches, one tree” thing. This is not a third branch. This is the first branch presented for the third time. They could have called it Karate Kid: Déjà Vu.

Full review at ScreenCrush.

Friendship

2024

★★★★ Liked Watched

I have never heard so many audible sighs and gasps and OH GODs at a comedy in my entire life. 

OH GOD this isn’t how I come across to other people, is it?

OH GOD

Zoolander

2001

★★★★ Liked Rewatched

I really relate to Hansel because I’m really really really ridiculously good-looking and also Sting would be another person who’s a hero to me. The music he’s created over the years, I don’t really listen to it. But the fact that he’s making it, I respect that.

How many times have I watched this movie without noticing that Mugatu is wearing a garbage bag ascot (complete with drawstring bow tie) in the final scene?!?

Dumb and Dumber

1994

★★★★ Liked Rewatched

If you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.

This is the movie from the 1994 Jim Carrey trifeca (after Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and The Mask) that I have seen the least, but it is almost certainly the funniest. Whenever I revisit it, I’m surprised how many moments have seeped their way into my subconscious. I think I don’t know it that well. Then a line pops up — like “Pills are good! Pills are GOOD!” — and I discover I have been quoting Dumb and Dumber for 30 years without realizing it.