-or- The Life Aeronautic
-or- The Old Man and the Liesel
-or- The Art of the Deal
-or- In-the-Black Narcissus
-or- A Matter of Life & Death (& Gap Financing)

Long-gestating Scorsese vibes break through the proscenium. The title sequence imitates the operatic introduction to Raging Bull (1980), and the opening minutes explode with violence like Goodfellas (1990); the tidy explainer devoted to Zsa Zsa Korda’s business history all but concludes, “As far back as I can I always wanted…

AD: "Auteurs Direct, this is Ryan, how may I help you?"

DOR: "Returns, please."

AD: "Which Auteurs Direct product are you looking to return today?"

DOR: "I ordered one Scorsese '70s Starter Kit, but I was sent the Ted Demme version instead. I'm looking for the Scorsese, the vintage model."

AD: "I'm afraid your previous orders suggest the Scorsese '70s Starter Kit isn't compatible with your toolset, so that's why we sent you the Ted Demme. You've purchased the Remedial…

Noble mediocrity, of the most self-consciously humble order. Co-writer and director Tom McCarthy starts with an unnecessary flashback and tip-toes through the chronology of events with the literal-mindedness of a 7th-grade book report: Convenient facts, laid out in a row, delivered with the shrunken vocabulary of a child. It's a work of service-journalism that wants to be judged on its clear-eyed morality; it deserves to be seen as an artless, charmless piece of homework that refuses to challenge its audience…